“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield
Holding the pain doesn’t fix anything in life. When you think about your past, then you don’t have any other option rather than accepting whatever you are holding on to and then let it go. By this way, everything changes. Sometimes, some things feel impossible to forget which are hurting you, but then also you have to let go. If you are going to stick with your past, then it will hold you back from developing a strong sense of self. A self is defined by your way in which you want to live, not by your past. Some people feel difficulty in letting go of their pain which they received in their history in their life as they think that those feelings are the part of their identity. And this feeling makes for them impossible to let go in their life.
You should follow these tips to let go of the past, grudges, a lousy relationship etc. in your life to live a life full of happiness. And these are as follows:-
You have to understand that the links you thought are going to be different than the relationships you have. We should accept the person we are at the current moment. Also, the other people too. As time goes on, we learn different things and realize that words don’t go as we planned. The relationship can improve if you get to know about yourself and the part of your relationship. Also, you have to accept some of the facts about certain people in your present life. To do this, practice appreciation, trust and gratitude in the process.
- 1- When it comes to dealing with the people, then don’t invest in the outcome as it leads to disappointment.
We got stuck by the expectations as they often lead us to certain outcomes with the fear. Also, there is no guarantee in life. When dealing with others to get a result, there is nothing to do to achieve them. We should respond appropriately and rationally when our needs or expectations are not met. Sometimes it means to let go, and sometimes it means to set respectful boundaries.
- 2- Don’t live in chains when you have the key. We live with self-limiting beliefs that we let define who we are.
Some people think that “I could never do that” or “I could never make that happen”. If any person truly believes, then you will never accomplish your goals and achievements. Keep the faith and believe in yourself by keeping your mind open. Some people are there who are going to demotivate you by saying that you can’t do it. So, you must prove them wrong.
- 3- Let go of the idea that you can control others’ actions. We really only have control over ourselves.
It’s not in your hand to change another person, so don’t waste your energy and time in changing someone’s life. This is the main factor that holds a person to keep unhelpful behaviours with others, like the need to please someone. This wrong to think that if only I do everything for everyone, then they will never get mad at me.
- 4-Only worry about what you think of yourself.
Don’t get bound by the thinking of society. I.e. get freedom from being controlled by the thoughts that other person may have about you. You should give priority to yourself that what you feel about yourself. Mahatma Gandhi once said that “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. If you are living for the approval of the others, then you can’t live by your values.
- 5-Leave room for mistakes.
Sometimes you make a mistake or do anything wrong or says anything stupid? Use this experience as a learning point and make a joke. If you say something wrong or silly, then it doesn’t make you stupid, but it makes a person human and sometimes funny.
- 6-Accept the things you cannot change.
Don’t wish to have the things in the way they once were. Always be in the present moment. This is the place where life happens. It’s not in your hand to change the past. But you can make decisions today to make yourself happy and to help how your future turns out.
- 7-Do does not take yourself too seriously.
By this way, you can relax and can enjoy life’s journey. I use to laugh at myself and laugh with myself all the time.
- 8-Do what scares you.
Fear closes our mind to possibilities for our future and holds us back from doing a lot of things. Fear also locks us into the comfort zone. The fear fills us with the most doubts that we have in our mind and imprison us. The more the fear will subside when you try to get out of your comfort zone. You will grow and succeed if you do the things that scare you in your life.
- 9.Express what works for you.
Try to find out your voice and also share with others, whatever you think and feel rationally. If you want to feel good about yourself and about your relationships than express yourself. This is a better way to feel good.
- 10- Allow yourself to feel negative emotions.
Always honour your loss, whether you have lost your loved one or you had a breakup. If you want to extend your suffering, then try to ignore your negative emotions. It’s challenging to experience the loss. Also, you should feel hurt and sad so that you can move forward.
- 11- Learn forgiveness.
Unwillingness to forgive will keep you closed in the past and stops you from moving forward in your life. Always remember that when you forgive any person, then, you are not doing it for another person, but you are doing it for yourself.
These are the main ways to let go of the things so that you can live your life with the values you want or with the happiness you needed in your life.
Some other things that you need to Let go of to Reach Unlimited Happiness in your life. They are given as follows:-
- 1. Let go of all thoughts that don’t make you feel empowered and strong.
- 2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.
- 3. Let go of the fear of the unknown in your life.
- 4. Let go of all the regrets that you feel in your life.
- 5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying to receive what you don’t want.
- 6. Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life.
- 7. Let go of thinking you are damaged.
- 8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.
- 9. Let go of being the “go-to person” for everyone all the time.
- 10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful, or better off than you.